What No One Tells You

I have been given a lot of advise when it comes to having children. It seems everyone has something to say. I get it, I do. I mean, I have given my bit of advise to other mom's or soon-to-be- Moms too. However, not once did someone warn me about how LOUD you house becomes when you add a third child to the mix. We are talking hearing loss people. It is soooo loud at times that I swear OSHA would come knocking on our door with violations. There should be a sound ordinance in our own house. Some nights my ears are ringing from all of the sounds. It is crazy!

There are many other things that friends/family or expecting books don't tell you. They don't tell you because they don't want to scare the crap out of you for having children. I could write a book on things that no one will tell you. A sampling of items are:

1) When you are nursing, milk may and will shoot across the room and hit anyone in harms way. This means your baby could get squirted right in the eye or up his nose. When you take a shower, milk could squirt out and hit the shower walls. The pressure can be that powerful and there is nothing you can do about.

2) They say breastfeeding is not supposed to hurt but at some point it will....A LOT! My nipple bled and that was with my youngest. You can't tell me I didn't know how to nurse by then but sure enough, intense pain the first 5-10 seconds of every feeding from about 4 weeks of age to 7 weeks. OUCH!

3) There will come a point when you will get pooped on and you really won't care because you are too tired to care. You may not even wash it off because in about 30 minutes, you will probably get more poop on you.

4) You may go a whole day and not sit down once.

5) You will convince yourself that cereal for supper is a balanced meal.

6) Counting to 10 is more powerful than you might think. It calms you down and actually scares the kids into behaving.

7) You will do things that you said you never would. For instance, I said Sophia would not suck on a pacifier when she was born. That lasted 2 days. She then got the pacifier for the next year and I think I loved the pacifier more than she did. I also said I would not let them jump on the couch or climb on chairs. Unfortunately they do both at our house. I also said that they would not watch any TV or maybe just 30 minutes a day at the most. Well, guess what my kids are doing right now. (I needed a break. At least I am watching with them). There are many other things but this is just a sampling.

8) You may go several days without a shower. Stock up on perfume or baby powder for yourself.

9) Your hair may change colors. I was a light blond before kids and now I am a dark blond.

10) Sleep actually does sound better than sex. In fact, just sitting down and watching TV with real actors and not cartoons sounds better than sex.

11) You will memorize "Good Night Moon" and other children's books without even trying too.